July 18, 2011

Lazy Days of Summer and Other Myths

Summer is officially half over. There are only 2 weeks left of July and only 6 weeks left until my kids head back to school. And all I can say is "Where in the world has my summer gone?!?"

Seven weeks of sun and no school and no work (since I get summers off) have passed and I have yet to prop open a lawn chair and work on my sunburn tan at the pool with a good book and an ice cold Pepsi. We spent the first half of our summer running to tennis, band, guitar, fishing lessons, library events, camps, Scouting events and swim classes. Then don't forget the "hey-now-that-all-the-snow-has-melted-the-whole-world-can-see-all-the-outdoor-projects-we-didn't-finish-last-fall" reality check. Add to that the "Chris-is-coming-home-on-leave-in-3-weeks-with-his-new-girlfriend-whom-we-really-hope-to-make-a-good-impression-on" situation, and now you know exactly how we spent most of our waking hours.  Oh, and did I mention my husband is a farmer-for-hire, which means we did all this in-between rainstorms while his co-op tried to plant, cultivate and fertilize 90,000 acres of farmland.

Whomever you are that perpetuated the phrase "lazy days of summer" ... you are a big, fat liar.  Harummph.

This also explains why I have not written a blog post since...June 2.  *sigh*  I am amazed that the world has gone on without my treasured bits of random wisdom.  But weep no more, I have returned.


Any-hoo...now that I have you all feeling sorry for me, I can lift up a victorious fist-pump and say we got 95% of all our projects done.  And, rejoice, I did remember to take SOME pictures and will get to work showing off some of our handi-works.  Also, we had a FABULOUS time when our firstborn son was home.  He was with us for a whole week (which went WAY too fast) and we enjoyed every minute of it.  He brought home the most delightful young lady, Miss Mairead (pronounced like pa-rade) and we fell in love with her almost instantly.  We must have made a decent impression, too, because the hip East Coast girl said she might even come back to North Dakota someday ;)

But I am still a little miffed about summer getting away from me, and so while I am disputing the "lazy days of summer" theory I thought I would also debunk a few more well known myths:

Myth #1: Cats are peaceful, docile creatures.  Lie, lie, lie!!  They are kind of like kids:  really cute and sweet...when they are sleeping.  The rest of the time they are just troublemakers - nipping at your toes, knocking over  your Lego towers, screwing up all the desktop setting on your laptop, trying to eat your Oreo cookies...the list does not end, I tell you.  Every once in a while they will rub against your leg, do something really cute with their toy mouse or purr every-so-sweetly while nuzzling against your neck but do not fall for it.  And don't say I didn't warn you.

Myth #2: I Can't Wait Until Summer (or the Weekend) So I Can Sleep In.  Why is it that, during the school year, I am dragging at least one kid out of bed and down the steps by his pajama bottoms at 8 a.m. to get him out the door in time for school?  Yet the same child can stay up until 11 p.m. on a summer/Friday night and wake up at 6 a.m. the next morning all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed begging to go to the pool, park or McD's for ice-cream?  Seriously...

Myth #3: Rummage Sales Save You Money.  I love a good bargain and anyone who knows me fairly well knows that I am very frugal.  We live on a pretty tight budget and I hate spending money on things I don't need, that don't fit, I won't use or that will, even worse, clutter up my house.  But for some reason, all of that logic goes out the window when I go to a rummage sale
Faux antique Russian soda mug...only $1?  What a deal!  Turquoise zebra print Zumbas from 1985? Keith will love them! Sofa table with only 3 legs and 8 coats of lead-based paint?  No problem, I can fix that and will use it!
It is these very lapses of judgment that have caused me to scale WAY back on the number of rummage sales I go to.  I have still hit a few this summer and come home with a few awesome deals (like a whole bag full of school clothes for Colin for under $5) but so far my trunk has escaped the privilege of hauling home the macaroni-encrusted nativity with natural patina.

Myth #4:  All the Projects You Started Last Fall, but Did Not Finish, Will Magically Complete Themselves Under a Blanket (or Avalanche) of January Snow.  Oh, I know, this one is a shocker.  But guess what? Our rotten deck boards did not mysterious self-heal themselves between November and April.  The faded green shutters did not paint themselves.  The overgrown and fledgling gardens failed to weed themselves.  And the broken water spout? Yep, still broken.  All my dreams and fantasies of snow fairies with highly marketable carpenter skills are crushed.

Myth #5:  The SuperMom.  I realize that this myth has been addressed before but I believe it bears repeating.  If not for your sake, for mine.  I survived the first half of summer but I am tired.  Not just tired, exhausted.  I do not want to go to one more tennis lesson, watch one more game, or stain one more board.  I want to take a nap.  A long one.  And then I want to get up, read one of the 5 books sitting on my bed side table for an hour or two, and then take another nap.  If you wake me with that ice cold Pepsi I mentioned before, and a promise of chocolate pie, I might agree to move my nap to that lawn chair next to the pool.  Otherwise, don't even bother.  Yes, I realize I am the one who decided we needed to rebuild the deck in record time.  And I realize that I am the one who signed Colin up for all three sessions of tennis.  And, yes, I realize that I am the one who thought working an extra two weeks into the summer wouldn't be "that big of a deal".  So I have no one to blame but myself.  Next time, though, remind me that SuperMom only exists in comic books and even she takes a break once in a while to sip an iced coffee over lunch with Wonder Woman.  Geesh.  Uff-da. Craziness. And, yes, foolishness and mayhem...

Now where'd I put those sunglasses...

Do you have any summertime (or any-other-time) myths you'd like to squash? Comment below!

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